Okay! Time to dust off this site and start anew!
— My update/confession —
The past year and a half have been both enlightening as well as frustrating in some respects. My graduation from the Clown Conservatory in June 2010 was followed by a very melancholy summer in which I pondered continuing onward for the second year program. There were advantages as well as drawbacks to such a scheme , though more of the latter were on my mind. As recommendation for this plan, I would be able to continue my physical training as well as develop my solo show into something to really market. The downsides: I was the only one of my classmates who was interested in the program, meaning I wouldn’t really have a buddy for motivation; there was little in the way of financial aid and I had not been able to secure employment in the Bay Area; my gracious host for housing had moved an hour south of the school and while still very much my friend, was eager to be without roommates. In addition to these, mostly financial, concerns, the director of the school, with whom I very much wanted to continue study, stepped down from his position and would unavailable for me to do as such.
I also missed all of my friends in socal terribly and so when a tax return appeared that would cover expenses to move into a house in north OC with some good friends, I eagerly made the transition back. Shortly thereafter, I was hired on as the Public Relations Assistant for the Original Renaissance Pleasure Faire. Day to day office work, while for a company I cared for, left me too drained at the end of the day for training. Not to say that the work wasn’t fulfilling, but I couldn’t help feeling that exerting such mental energy in helping the staff run this event left me unable to pursue my physical training as I would have liked to. This, of course, is my own fault. No one stopped me — if I really wanted to train, I would certainly have done so, despite the fatigue.
Also, during 2011, I found that there was something amiss with my body, other than lack of rigorous exercise. I found myself feeling nauseous at random times, with no real idea of what food had been the culprit. I retained weight in places on my body where I never have before. This both baffled and depressed me. I felt no control over it. I didn’t feel at home in my skin. I didn’t feel like me.
I also felt a loss of control in my performing career. Through ORPF, I landed a commercial, which was great. But my duties in the office and on faire site as a liaison for media prevented me from continuing to develop my solo mime show that I had performed at faire in 2010. Still performing with the Merry Wives, I had a creative and performing outlet, but I was not moving forward in the way of supporting myself as a performer. I didn’t have the confidence to market myself as an act.
July 2011, I accepted a gig as a clown for a friend’s church picnic. I worked on revamping my solo mime show, making it appropriate for small children. It felt good to put on my clown face and costume – even if the costume fit a little tighter than previously. I had a wonderful time interacting with the picnic-goers as a clown and having fun with them one on one.
The Northern California Renaissance Faire, San Luis Obispo Renaissance Faire, and the Charles Dickens Christmas Faire have come and gone and I have performed or worked these with great spirit singing with the Merry Wives of Windsor or by being a true barmaid behind an alestand counter. I feel that musically, I’m growing as far as my voice and my fiddle playing are concerned. But I would like to train for acrobatics, dance, and body awareness once again, to really up my game.
In answer to the yearnings of my mind and body, I have begun training again at my house. Stretches, shoulder rolls, handstands, cartwheels, even some aerial tissue as my roommate permits. Funny, the exercise helps not only quicken my body, but my mind. My memory improves with physical activity.
My current search is for a training partner to help keep me motivated and a space with crash mats where I can work on doing front handsprings in a safe environment. Any and all suggestions are welcome.