Darien DeVries

Okay! Time to dust off this site and start anew!

— My update/confession —

The past year and a half have been both enlightening as well as frustrating in some respects. My graduation from the Clown Conservatory in June 2010 was followed by a very melancholy summer in which I pondered continuing onward for the second year program. There were advantages as well as drawbacks to such a scheme , though more of the latter were on my mind. As recommendation for this plan, I would be able to continue my physical training as well as develop my solo show into something to really market. The downsides: I was the only one of my classmates who was interested in the program, meaning I wouldn’t really have a buddy for motivation; there was little in the way of financial aid and I had not been able to secure employment in the Bay Area; my gracious host for housing had moved an hour south of the school and while still very much my friend, was eager to be without roommates. In addition to these, mostly financial, concerns, the director of the school, with whom I very much wanted to continue study, stepped down from his position and would unavailable for me to do as such.

I also missed all of my friends in socal terribly and so when a tax return appeared that would cover expenses to move into a house in north OC with some good friends, I eagerly made the transition back.  Shortly thereafter, I was hired on as the Public Relations Assistant for the Original Renaissance Pleasure Faire.  Day to day office work, while for a company I cared for, left me too drained at the end of the day for training. Not to say that the work wasn’t fulfilling, but I couldn’t help feeling that exerting such mental energy in helping the staff run this event left me unable to pursue my physical training as  I would have liked to. This, of course, is my own fault. No one stopped me — if I really wanted to train, I would certainly have done so, despite the fatigue.

Also, during 2011, I found that there was something amiss with my body, other than lack of rigorous exercise.  I found myself feeling nauseous at random times, with no real idea of what food had been the culprit. I retained weight in places on my body where I never have before. This both baffled and depressed me. I felt no control over it. I didn’t feel at home in my skin. I didn’t feel like me.

I also felt a loss of control in my performing career. Through ORPF, I landed a commercial, which was great. But my duties in the office and on faire site as a liaison for media prevented me from continuing to develop my solo mime show that I had performed at faire in 2010. Still performing with the Merry Wives, I had a creative and performing outlet, but I was not moving forward in the way of supporting myself as a performer. I didn’t have the confidence to market myself as an  act.

July 2011, I accepted a gig as a clown for a friend’s church picnic. I worked on revamping my solo mime show, making it appropriate for small children. It felt good to put on my clown face and costume – even if the costume fit a little tighter than previously. I had a wonderful time interacting with the picnic-goers as a clown and having fun with them one on one.

The Northern California Renaissance Faire, San Luis Obispo Renaissance Faire, and the Charles Dickens Christmas Faire have come and gone and I have performed or worked these with great spirit singing with the Merry Wives of Windsor or by being a true barmaid behind an alestand counter. I feel that musically, I’m growing as far as my voice and my fiddle playing are concerned. But I would like to train for acrobatics, dance, and body awareness once again, to really up my game.

In answer to the yearnings of my mind and body, I have begun training again at my house. Stretches, shoulder rolls, handstands, cartwheels, even some aerial tissue as my roommate permits. Funny, the exercise helps not only quicken my body, but my mind.  My memory improves with physical activity.

My current search is for a training partner to help keep me motivated and a space with crash mats where I can work on doing front handsprings in a safe environment. Any and all suggestions are welcome.

Last Wednesday was the first audition I’ve done in a long time that required me to have a monologue. I auditioned for the Kaiser Permanente Educational School Tour. I was rather hoping to get this opportunity because it tours locally for ten months and would give me a touring experience I’ve not yet had. Not to mention it pays well and provides benefits! They were looking for people who could play characters between the ages of 8 and 18. The school shows cover a variety of topics from healthy eating to dealing with puberty and conflict resolution. I remember these sorts of shows coming to my school growing up and even though they are a little campy, I absolutely loved them and would be thrilled to perform them. Another interesting thing about this opportunity is that we would be put in a role of peer counselor for the students in the audience. Talk about a learning experience!

I liked the audition process – KP was very strict on the auditionees keeping their monologues to one minute or less. While in some ways this felt like we were being rushed along like cattle, it also meant that no one’s time got wasted. Yes, not even our time got wasted, which I very much appreciated. We were in and out of there in about an hour and could still get lots of other tasks accomplished in the daylight.

I’m pleased with the monologue I chose. I had, in fact, looked at some adolescent monologues I found online. Since I did not have as much time to prepare as I would have liked, I decided, rather than to learn a new monologue, to adapt my story for the upcoming clown show into a monologue.I think it went over well. Although once I finished my monologue, the panel was so nice and polite that it was really hard to tell if they liked me or not. I suppose that’s not too bad of a problem to have.

Needless to say, I didn’t get a callback. Neither did my two classmates who also auditioned. Listening to the names listed on the callback recording, it seemed to us that they were seeking a more culturally diverse cast for the current shows. That’s fine – I recognize that there are plenty of 20-something Caucasian females to go around at any audition – although I think we would have preferred the type being advertised in the casting call. Perhaps they felt because they were under the umbrella of a corporate entity, that they could not put such a thing in the casting call, as it would be perceived as discriminatory. The audition definitely have the feel of something more corporate so those organizing the school tours must need to tread a fine line between the industry norms of corporate office and theater.

Friday evening was our Clown Conservatory show – Fools Come Early or as it is on the fantastic flier my classmate created: Fools! Fools! Fools! I performed my story piece from the first show and I’m rather happy with how it turned out. I wish we were able to do this show over and over for an audience so I could really get the rhythm of it. The audience also liked the coat switch routine with my classmate. Oddly enough, they didn’t seem to care as much about the payoff (after the tussle, I end up with the coat while my partner celebrates her wrestling victory. Then once I scuttle offstage, she claims my tiny hat, which fell off my head, unbeknownst to me.) but applauded for the wrestling itself. While I’m thrilled they appreciated the technique, I hope they were entertained!

I feel that our duck mime piece – Fowl Revenge – went over quite well and that we hit our marks. There were a few last-minute things we’d added that very day that were forgotten in the adrenaline-frenzy of the show, but we received a positive response. Can’t ask for more than that!

Today, I watched part of the video from our show and once again, I need to remember to slow down and really allow moments to happen. It’s never until I see videos of myself that I realize I’m moving too fast through a piece. When I’m onstage, it always feels like I am moving more slowly than I am.

A note on performing for an audience of strangers vs an audience of fellow performers. I don’t like testing a piece out on my fellow performers. It’s not that I dislike them or don’t trust their judgment or anything like that. The problem is that we, as performers, look at artistic pieces with a critical eye. It’s not out of malice – on the contrary, we are often  looking for ways to help our classmates improve. However, we are judging because of that. And knowing that your audience is judging you changes the energy of your piece, just as being nervous when singing tightens up the throat and changes the performance.  When I am in front of an audience that’s there to be entertained, they are hoping I do well. They want me to succeed (because nothing is more embarrassing to an audience member than watching a performer obviously flounder on stage) and are channeling positive energy to that end. But they also have no expectations of me. I can feel myself and ready to go in front of that audience.

Southern Faire is coming around again. I look forward to having lots of audience again. And to singing with the Merry Wives. Hope to see you there!

Well the past few weeks have been a series of ups and downs in my head. For some time, I was feeling like I have not been able to create new material and am right back where I started before coming to this school. However, last week, I pulled out the story I wrote for our very first show at the Clown Conservatory in early October. What I discovered was that while I wanted to make minor tweaks to the piece, I left it largely the same. But when I performed it in front of my class, I received the comment that it didn’t seem like the same piece at all. And I thought to myself “Wow, the piece didn’t really change. But I did.”

That made me feel better. It seems that my performance has developed in a way that I’m not really conscious of. That performing the same story could look so different from October until now is pretty astonishing. I am also pleased with the further development of the coat-switch piece that I performed with a partner back at that same first show. We tried it out last week and added some extra conflict in the last section – not merely just fighting with one another for the coat, but using all the contact improvisation from Body Awareness class to create a fun, comedic, yet smooth confrontation.

So I still feel like I have a hard time creating new material, but it no longer feels so impossible. That’s something I guess.

Well today is all about getting things done and I should really start with a VERY long overdue blog post.

I make a vow right now to post something at least every week, even if it’s short and sweet. Now to catch you up…

Synopsis:

The first term at the Clown Conservatory was fun and trying. There’s the physical challenge, of course, (although I wake up much less sore these days – oh noes, I need more training!) but the emotional impact is pretty significant as well. It is not as easy as you might think to open up, say YES to everything, and to be vulnerable. Vulnerable in the character you present as a clown, but also full of knowledge that what you experiment in your performing work may FAIL utterly in front of an audience. Or that it may only slightly not work and you only have one show in front of an audience so you don’t quite know what didn’t work or how to fix it and isn’t that frustrating?!

Ahem.

While I’ve seen a bit of Commedia Del’Arte and have a basic understanding of the archetypes, we explored it in more depth and I would like more time to study it still. Commedia was rather challenging for me. Mask work in general was very challenging for me. While I feel connected to my body (now, more than ever, that’s for sure!) I still never felt while working with the masks that I was fully able to communicate all I could without use of my face. I played Arlecchino and while I am fairly certain I mastered the walk and overall movement of Arlecchino,  I never felt like I  quite achieved the full character in order to verbally inhabit Arlecchino completely.

Accomplishments:

• My juggling skills have increased 50 fold. I can juggle two balls in one hand and can do several 3 ball tricks. On to clubs!
• I can balance a pool cue on my chin, nose, and forehead for about 30 seconds consistently. Working on shorter dowels.
• Ballet has given me much better balance. I can stand on one foot easily, and can hold in fifth position releve quite well. My posture has improved and I feel that my overall stance is stronger.
• My tumbling has vastly improved – shoulder rolls come easily, cartwheels are stronger – and I can do them on my non-dominant side, I’m on my way to doing a handspring, my arch is more flexible, and I’m only 1 1/2-2 inches from the floor in front/back splits and 3 in a straddle split.
• My ability to open up and improvise has increased, and I feel comfortable once again doing improv acting.

Since the beginning of the year, we have had one show, featuring clown entrees. These are scenes between two or more clowns, although sometimes they are solo with the clown partnering with the audience, that use a general framework for story and outcome, but allow the individual clowns to decide the dialogue, blocking, etc. Entrees challenged me quite a bit and I was concerned that I would not be able to make the two I participated in work for me. I wanted it to be engaging and funny – but most of all, something that connected with the audience. Finally, it clicked for me, leading me to the following revelation:

I don’t have to throw out my former career to be a clown.

I was so happy to escape a life in an office, turning people into numbers that I forgot that that sort of position or status is *exactly* the type of person my clown character could be! The day before our clown entree performance, I worked with my partner to re-envision our entree, Little Bee, with me as a *Career Placement Advisor* !!  (yes, you folks from my CDS past, I DID use the word ‘placement’! I thumb my red nose at your industry taboo word!) This new look at my clown character also helped me put together some fun walk-around business for pre-show, interviewing audience members for ridiculous jobs, mostly animals.

“ah, I see you are here for the wasp position. exactly what is the measurement of your stinger?”

=D

Clown Projects on the Horizon:

• Juggling to music for Core Clowning class
• Circus skills routine for Circus Skills class (if the juggling to music works out, I may use this for both)
• Duck vs Hunter partner routine for Mime class
• Monday, March 1st, Perform clown entree, Dollar Bill, at the Climate Theater in the ALL WOMEN CLOWN CABARET

Now for the official plug:

ALL WOMEN CLOWN CABARET!

Come to the Climate Theater at 285 9th Street at Folsom in San Francisco – Monday March 1st at 7 or at 9!
Get your ticket in advance for only $10  or $15 at the door if they aren’t sold out already!

http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/98829

After a lovely respite in New Jersey (oh hush, it’s beautiful there) I am now in the process of packing up my life and heading to the Bay Area! It is very exciting to be starting a new chapter in my life and interesting to be reviewing the last six years by going through all my belongings, deciding what’s important to keep and what I can live without.

What’s *really* nice is that I have a lot of costuming – reminding me once again that while my work situation has not always been ideal, I have had many wonderful performing experiences and memories to cherish.

There are many more such experiences and memories to come! Woot!

Needless to say, I have been walking on air since last Wednesday. You know you are truly happy when even dealing with the DMV can’t ruin your mood. And last Wednesday, anyone who saw me can attest to the exhilirated squealing and jumping up & down.  I have not felt like that in 10 years.

First of all, thank you to everyone out there who supported me in this first part of the adventure. Your kind words, prayers, positive energy, and love really helped me along. You remind me that I’m not alone on this crazy life path and that I have plenty of loved ones watching over me.  Special thanks to: Jon for his role as cameraman and video editor for my audition videos; Mike for his contribution as cameraman for the second audition; Steven, Dennis, Maggie, Kevin, and Ron for the astounding letters of recommendation; Roxanne for the inspiration and guidance; Clare for the headshots. I could not have done it without you guys.

Now that I’ve gotten over my little Oscar- wannabe moment, some ramblings of my mind…

It has been very surreal these past few days. My last day at my job was yesterday. It was bittersweet. While I will miss the people – my students especially – I will not miss the daily grind of office clothing, fluorescent lighting, and making numbers. I wish so much success on my students and hope they will continue to stay in contact with me. It is strange not having a job at this moment. I have enough saved to take care of rent until my relocation, but it is unnerving not knowing when next I will have income.

I am so thrilled that the next chapter of life is beginning. So excited that I start school in September and develop myself further as a performer!  And also relieved that I have these next 6 weeks back home with my family to relax a bit, practice skills that I’ve not had the energy/time to put in before, and reconnect with friends and family. A fellow performer will be visiting me and we can work on skills and putting a show together. Hopefully, she will also be attending the Clown Conservatory as well!

Upon return, I have about 4 weeks to pack up my life and move to the bay area.  It is a good time to purge myself of needless possessions, though I find it very difficult. I will have to call upon some good friends to help me prioritize my belongings – and of course, drink my booze. Yayfun!

I will miss my SoCal friends very much. Especially the Wives. and the Boggards. They have become my family over the past 6 years and while I know I will see them at the holidays and performances, I shall miss singing with MWOW weekly. That’s it, NorCal friends – you gotta step up! =D

The rest of my life is happening and I am actually going for my dreams.  It is an amazing feeling to lose that paralyzing fear that stops one from pursuing their passion. I had it for so long that I can hardly believe that I am where I am right now, especially with how I was feeling two months ago. May this feeling last forever. I truly am in love with the world and cannot wait to spend my life doing what I need – and *want* – to do.

*sigh* I had better get some sleep before my flight!

Take care, friends.